Yanks have just enough to move on, 2-1

I'm not a big Van Halen fan, but there's extra time for Panama (or "extra hot shoes, burning down the avenue,").

Extra time: One of the principal rules of soccer is not kicking anyone in the stomach, especially in the 18, in particular in extra time. Roman Torres' decision to go boot-to-gut with Kenny Cooper is one of my favorites in recent memory, mostly because the Yanks deserved a break.

Cooper did the silly stutter-step run-up that looks so cheesy, but the guy finished and more power to him. 2-1, United States of America.

Regulation: Extra time between a States side that cannot even be described as the country's C-plus unit, and a Panama side that's playing about as clean as Redman's MTV Cribs episode. It's the Gold Cup quarterfinal, and the score is knotted at 1-1 right now.

There have been some nice moments of soccer in between bouts of laughter at Max Bretos' play-by-play. Honestly, I hate to dog on fellow commentators, but this crew has been especially brutal during Gold Cup.

Perhaps it's best to first note the goals. Panama struck first, just before half, as Pachuca's Blas Perez made no mistake off a series of awkward looking defensive decisions and touches by the Americans. Super slow-motion makes Stuart Holden's zero-touch non-clearance look extra awful, but you'd love to see Chad Marshall rise to the occasion and follow Perez, who buried the ball.

Dreadlocks brought the deadlock, as Kyle Beckerman's equalizer was straight out the cannon. Kansas City's Davy Arnaud set down a moonshot of a cross from Robbie Rogers, and he set it bouncing but on a line for Beckerman, who ripped it upper 90. I finally saw what some of my friends like about Beckerman tonight, and it came before, during and after the goal.

Quick thoughts on individuals:

-- Jimmy Conrad's post-concussion camera moments were among the scariest I've ever seen in head injury aftermath.

-- Manuel Torres' mullet/linebeard combo was straight out of the SNL "D*** in a Box" video. The bronzed bottom of the mullet for extra sheen was a legitimate touch. Bravo.

-- Heath Pearce was fine, but I did not understand the notion from the booth that he had re-asserted himself in the mix to play left back in 2010. It's not impossible, and is nitpicking, but not much he had done to that point in the game made me think any more than I had already thought of him.

-- Panama's Felipe Baloy reminds me of Oguchi Onyewu before Gooch learned how to control his physical aggression. Problem for Baloy -- you're a 1981 birthday, not a 1991.

-- Cooper needs more international polish. He reminds me of Jozy Altidore in that he's often in the right spot, but then what? Those who follow MLS know he can finish.

-- Bob Bradley has now capped 85 players during his tenure, according to Bretos. Great stat pull, and, well, great stat.

-- Panama was not very happy with the way the game ended, so they decided to pick up a couple of red cards by trying to fight officials and security guards. Stay classy, boys. Those actions always get the results you're looking for, right?

What now?

-- Eight years since the States have lost on US soil, but you have a feeling that could end before the finish of the tournament. Honduras is a talented and physical squad who has faced the Yanks twice in the last couple months, including a 2-1 US win in Chicago, where the two teams will meet on Thursday (July 23). The 2-0 US win in the group play wasn't what the score indicates, but luckily the Hondurans are also without stars like Tottenham's Wilson Palacios, Toronto FC's Armando Guevara and deadly striker Carlos Pavon.

-- Sunday will be Funday for the other quarterfinals. Guadeloupe and Costa Rica should be a fun matchup, while Mexico should top Haiti, but this Mexican group is so unpredictable.

"Beckham Experiment" author Grant Wahl on my radio show

As promised, a link to my interview with Sports Illustrated's Grant Wahl, author of "The Beckham Experiment." He was a fantastic guest, and his Posh Spice impression is worth the price of admission.

Here it is: Enjoy.

Review: "The Beckham Experiment"

Our first proper book review provides an interesting query -- do we summarize and do the American thing by saving you the reading of the book, or do we tell you why you should read it?

In terms of Grant Wahl's "The Beckham Experiment," the answer most certainly should be the latter, though to be fair he may give a little more of the former when he joins my radio show Saturday at 11:30 a.m. EST. Major League Soccer sits on the periphery of the American sports landscape which allowed Wahl a terrific amount of access to the behind the scenes workings of the league, the LA Galaxy and -- somewhat -- David Beckham's camp.

To the league's credit, it didn't shut down Wahl when things were clear the "experiment" was a mess. The author gets almost unrivaled access to the Galaxy, and somehow maintains an unbiased feel while reporting on some actions that are -- at least from a sporting standpoint -- quite despicable.

Here's what it comes down to -- what the MLS has done to ensure competitive balance makes a player's life pretty tough. For example, the bottom five players on the Galaxy's 2007 roster made $12,700 per year. The hotels are barely a C-plus, the schedule is near impossible at times and the league gets in its way a lot. But you get the sense that Beckham could've handled all that if the team won, and the Galaxy squad was mis- and micro-managed in what read like a cruel, slow death.

For a guy who had never lost more than five consecutive matches, Beckham endured much worse with the Galaxy, and didn't react well. He was almost forceably installed as captain, and didn't really provide much leadership, eventually spiralling into a passenger on a garbage soccer team... that was still filling stadia.

Sadly, if you're in this book just for the incindiery Landon Donovan quotes about Beckham, every single controversial one has been leaked, but reading about Donovan himself is a pivotal point of interest in the work, and Alexi Lalas is a terrific personality as well.

The book is absolutely worth reading, if only because it feels like Wahl picked the exact parts of the brain needed to make something intriguing. The inner workings of the entertainment business are splayed about like open-heart surgery, and the guts are a beautiful and ugly wonder.

For a full conversation with Wahl, tune into WGR550 AM in Buffalo at 11:30 a.m. EST this Saturday (July 18). You can listen online here.

2 goals for, 2 goals against, 2 transfers

So, we learned something very valuable in the 2-2 tie against Haiti in Game Three of the States' 2009 Gold Cup campaign: the United States' "C-plus" team isn't better than Haiti's "A" squad.

On a day when two young American strikers found new overseas homes -- more on that later -- the US rolled out a starting line-up of players extremely unlikely to make a dent in the 2010 World Cup's XI, and still played alright.

The States first goal was nice, but poorly defended by Haiti. Stuart Holden sent a swell low pass in to Davy Arnaud who used a calm, left-footed finish to put the States up 1-0.

Haiti's first goal was a comedy of errors. First, defender Jay Heaps was turned inside out. Then, goalkeeper Luis Robles can't get a finger on the big cross. Finally, no back post defender marks the goal scorer, and we're tied at one.

Hard to fault Robles on the second goal. Mones Chery -- pronounced like the French mon cherie -- hit a sick and somewhat lucky 20-plus-foot yard strike into the far-upper-90. It was essentially unstoppable. 2-1 Haiti, all in the span of four minutes.

But Holden would equalize with a strike just as nifty. To go near post from the angle he had was incredible, almost breathtaking when you consider it came in the second minute of stoppage time. 2-2 tie, and clinching the B1 seed for the rest of the tournament, which means the US will draw a much easier match-up the rest of the way. If Guadeloupe can upend Mexico on Sunday, the States may finish with only the second-best record in the tournament's group play.

The States will likely take on Panama or Jamaica on July 18 in Philadelphia, though there's an extremely outside shot they'd face Nicaragua. It would take a miracle, but after the Confed Cup, we know better than to assume anything.

If the States wins that matchup, they'll take on the winner of Canada vs. Honduras for the right to go to the Gold Cup final.

--- As for the transfer market, Jozy Altidore's Spanish adventure is over for now. After forgettable campaigns with Villarreal and Xerez, the Yellow Submarine has agreed to loan the 19-year-old to reigning Greek champion Olympiacos, so it'll be Champions League football for Jozy after all. Altidore will have to work for playing time over former EPL player Matt Derbyshire and young Brazilian striker Diogo.

Charlie Davies has moved spots on the continent as well, eschewing Hammarby in the Swedish Allsvenskan for Sochaux in France. A Ligue 1 squad, Sochaux finished 14th last season. Davies will get to take on his Yank teammate Carlos Bocanegra when his new team matches up against Rennes, and the most notable of his new teammates are Slovenia defender Bojan Jokic and Ivory Coast international Kandia Traore -- at least to me.

-- Good looks to Heaps, even if he looked awkward once or twice. The 32-year-old defender earned his first cap the hard way. Heaps played 299 MLS games before getting his first look with the national team. Congratulations, Jay.

-- My computer's out of juice and it's late. Good evening, and apologies for the shorter post. And if I missed some completely obvious things, forgive me... I've been awake for far too long. Went to the Taste of Buffalo, then helped some friends move before doing play-by-play for the Buffalo Flash and going to a wedding reception. Wow.

Santino's homefield advantage lifts US over Honduras

It's unreal how a boring contest such as the the States' second game of the 2009 Gold Cup can be lifted into grace by a spell of beautiful soccer. That's exactly what happened in the 75th minute of Wednesday's 2-0 win over Honduras at RFK Stadium in Washington, D.C.

Sixty-fourth minute substitute Benny Feilhaber showed some real class by sliding a pass to the top of the 18, where fellow 64th minute add-on Charlie Davies alertly found Baltimore native and DC United vet Santino Quaranta. Quaranta finished hard and low past Honduran keeper Donis Escobar, popping the US into the lead in a game in which they had been of better class, admittedly by a narrow margin.

As for the second goal... well, by now, we shouldn't be surprised when Charlie Davies asserts himself as a force in a game, but for the second-straight game, he helped open up the 18 for a fellow forward. Steve Cherundolo gets a deserved assist on a Brian Ching-headed goal, and the Yanks go up 2-0 with two goals in five minutes.

Other notes:

-- Honduras is certainly mounting an effort to be as hated as Mexico. They are a filthy, whiny team that dives as much as any in CONCACAF.

-- The most fun from the first 74 minutes of Wednesday night was the following texted observations about Kyle Beckerman:

*"His jazz ensemble is playing the Tralf next week," Scott
*"He was great in 'Encino Man,'."
*"Beckerman's hair - Bob Marley tribute band."

-- Robbie Rogers has silly skills, and would have to lose a foot to not be included in the 2010 WC squad.

-- Freddy Adu is still extremely green, but his raw talent shows up in undeniable flashes. Still, he needs to do work to make the 2010 squad.

-- Two clean sheets for Troy Perkins. Good on him.

-- 23-0-1 in the group stages of the Gold Cup. For a moment, let's ignore that most have been home games.

-- As a fellow soccer broadcaster, I try to be kind to announcers, but Max Bretos was as brutal an example as you can find. I could almost swear he wasn't watching the same game as us, and his idea of play-by-play as screaming an attacker's name before waiting a good 10 seconds after the shot goes in or wide to announce what happened was laughable. He did have dry toast for a color man, but life goes on. Both fellas are better than they showed Wednesday.

-- I'm glad the Haiti game won't be a "be-all/end-all" event, because I'll be watching it several hours later after the Flash game and my buddy Brad's wedding.

Gooch's Italian stunner

Oguchi Onyewu is now a Rossoneri, and must certainly be kissing the crest on his American kit for the Confederations Cup run.

The States' center back has signed with AC Milan, and if you think the US won't benefit from Gooch getting -- presumably -- first team touches with Gennaro Gattuso in front of Dida. Practicing against Pirlo, Inzaghi, Ronaldinho and more? A priceless opportunity.

Now, if he ends up keeping the bench seats warm for Zambrotta, Kaladze and Nesta, then it's not-so-good, but Milan is quite an upgrade from Standard Liege.

Gooch to Holland or Madrid?

Since Yahoo! is reporting as "exclusive" the same thing we've been reading internationally for days, I suppose it's time to inform those who don't know that Oguchi Onyewu is talking with Ajax.

*EDIT: El Mundo Deportivo adds that Real Madrid may be in for the American defender.

Of course, Fenerbache, Fulham and Wolverhampton have also had their names mentioned in connection for the center back, whose contract with Standard Liege in Belgium has expired. As much as I'd love to see him a Cottager, an Ajax kit bearing his name would be pretty slick.

His agent told Yahoo! a decision is expected next week.