States Embarassed by El Tri in Final

The United States fell on its own soil for the first time in ages, and "fell" is an understatement. The States were picked apart by Mexico, 5-0, at Giants Stadium in the Gold Cup final.

Thanks to head-scratching defense from the Yanks, and superlative performances by Premier League attackers Giovani dos Santos and Carlos Vela, the "C-plus" team ceded their trophy back to El Tri, who will certainly have a chant or two for the visiting Americans come Aug. 12's World Cup qualifier at Azteca.

Where to start with the back end? Jay Heaps was an abhorrent for the second time in two weeks, while Heath Pearce wasn't much better. The latter defender remains unsigned, and would be best suited to hit the Major League Soccer circuit and practice against less than world class talent.

It's a shame for goalkeeper Troy Perkins, whose defense played tentative. Strike that, they played scared, and that's the most embarassing label you can apply to any unit. After a scoreless first half, the four backs played all sorts of ugly. This was more like the 3-1 loss in Costa Rica than the first team's losses to Italy and Brazil in group okay of the Confederations Cup.

Other notes...

-- Watching the Mexicans dance all over the New York grass -- and rightfully so -- really puts some heat and fervor back in a rivalry that has been one-sided. The States real squad needs to get something special going for the trip to Azteca next month.

-- Dos Santos was stunning, and Vela's addition to the game really underlined what the States were missing. As Max Bretos pointed out during the broadcast, Charlie Davies up top would've helped a ton.

-- Sure, I'm bitter right now, but before I suit up for a mens league match, let me comment on the broadcasting. Fox Soccer Channel's Bretos picked his most inept moments for the States most embarassing game. Tell me, Max, do they keep a whipping post inside a woodshed? Mixing up his metaphors with a shocking lack of knowledge for an announcer on his stage, Bretos couldn't believe Heaps was whistled for his PK ("not in my books"?) and completely skipped over the clear offside on the Mexicans second goal.

Throw all of that together with his first half disbelief that anyone could call this US team "less than a B-team." Hey, Max, B-teams are commonly referred to as reserve teams. Besides Ching, who else on that field is going to be there on Aug. 12? Maybe Stu Holden. Also, when Bretos is doing a better job, it's a heck of a lot easier to brush over his horrible pronounciation of every player with any sort of different name. You don't have to sound like a Mexican to properly announced a last name.

As a last note, the FSC crew might want to put the microphone a little closer to color man Christoph Sullivan's mouth.

Yanks have just enough to move on, 2-1

I'm not a big Van Halen fan, but there's extra time for Panama (or "extra hot shoes, burning down the avenue,").

Extra time: One of the principal rules of soccer is not kicking anyone in the stomach, especially in the 18, in particular in extra time. Roman Torres' decision to go boot-to-gut with Kenny Cooper is one of my favorites in recent memory, mostly because the Yanks deserved a break.

Cooper did the silly stutter-step run-up that looks so cheesy, but the guy finished and more power to him. 2-1, United States of America.

Regulation: Extra time between a States side that cannot even be described as the country's C-plus unit, and a Panama side that's playing about as clean as Redman's MTV Cribs episode. It's the Gold Cup quarterfinal, and the score is knotted at 1-1 right now.

There have been some nice moments of soccer in between bouts of laughter at Max Bretos' play-by-play. Honestly, I hate to dog on fellow commentators, but this crew has been especially brutal during Gold Cup.

Perhaps it's best to first note the goals. Panama struck first, just before half, as Pachuca's Blas Perez made no mistake off a series of awkward looking defensive decisions and touches by the Americans. Super slow-motion makes Stuart Holden's zero-touch non-clearance look extra awful, but you'd love to see Chad Marshall rise to the occasion and follow Perez, who buried the ball.

Dreadlocks brought the deadlock, as Kyle Beckerman's equalizer was straight out the cannon. Kansas City's Davy Arnaud set down a moonshot of a cross from Robbie Rogers, and he set it bouncing but on a line for Beckerman, who ripped it upper 90. I finally saw what some of my friends like about Beckerman tonight, and it came before, during and after the goal.

Quick thoughts on individuals:

-- Jimmy Conrad's post-concussion camera moments were among the scariest I've ever seen in head injury aftermath.

-- Manuel Torres' mullet/linebeard combo was straight out of the SNL "D*** in a Box" video. The bronzed bottom of the mullet for extra sheen was a legitimate touch. Bravo.

-- Heath Pearce was fine, but I did not understand the notion from the booth that he had re-asserted himself in the mix to play left back in 2010. It's not impossible, and is nitpicking, but not much he had done to that point in the game made me think any more than I had already thought of him.

-- Panama's Felipe Baloy reminds me of Oguchi Onyewu before Gooch learned how to control his physical aggression. Problem for Baloy -- you're a 1981 birthday, not a 1991.

-- Cooper needs more international polish. He reminds me of Jozy Altidore in that he's often in the right spot, but then what? Those who follow MLS know he can finish.

-- Bob Bradley has now capped 85 players during his tenure, according to Bretos. Great stat pull, and, well, great stat.

-- Panama was not very happy with the way the game ended, so they decided to pick up a couple of red cards by trying to fight officials and security guards. Stay classy, boys. Those actions always get the results you're looking for, right?

What now?

-- Eight years since the States have lost on US soil, but you have a feeling that could end before the finish of the tournament. Honduras is a talented and physical squad who has faced the Yanks twice in the last couple months, including a 2-1 US win in Chicago, where the two teams will meet on Thursday (July 23). The 2-0 US win in the group play wasn't what the score indicates, but luckily the Hondurans are also without stars like Tottenham's Wilson Palacios, Toronto FC's Armando Guevara and deadly striker Carlos Pavon.

-- Sunday will be Funday for the other quarterfinals. Guadeloupe and Costa Rica should be a fun matchup, while Mexico should top Haiti, but this Mexican group is so unpredictable.

Santino's homefield advantage lifts US over Honduras

It's unreal how a boring contest such as the the States' second game of the 2009 Gold Cup can be lifted into grace by a spell of beautiful soccer. That's exactly what happened in the 75th minute of Wednesday's 2-0 win over Honduras at RFK Stadium in Washington, D.C.

Sixty-fourth minute substitute Benny Feilhaber showed some real class by sliding a pass to the top of the 18, where fellow 64th minute add-on Charlie Davies alertly found Baltimore native and DC United vet Santino Quaranta. Quaranta finished hard and low past Honduran keeper Donis Escobar, popping the US into the lead in a game in which they had been of better class, admittedly by a narrow margin.

As for the second goal... well, by now, we shouldn't be surprised when Charlie Davies asserts himself as a force in a game, but for the second-straight game, he helped open up the 18 for a fellow forward. Steve Cherundolo gets a deserved assist on a Brian Ching-headed goal, and the Yanks go up 2-0 with two goals in five minutes.

Other notes:

-- Honduras is certainly mounting an effort to be as hated as Mexico. They are a filthy, whiny team that dives as much as any in CONCACAF.

-- The most fun from the first 74 minutes of Wednesday night was the following texted observations about Kyle Beckerman:

*"His jazz ensemble is playing the Tralf next week," Scott
*"He was great in 'Encino Man,'."
*"Beckerman's hair - Bob Marley tribute band."

-- Robbie Rogers has silly skills, and would have to lose a foot to not be included in the 2010 WC squad.

-- Freddy Adu is still extremely green, but his raw talent shows up in undeniable flashes. Still, he needs to do work to make the 2010 squad.

-- Two clean sheets for Troy Perkins. Good on him.

-- 23-0-1 in the group stages of the Gold Cup. For a moment, let's ignore that most have been home games.

-- As a fellow soccer broadcaster, I try to be kind to announcers, but Max Bretos was as brutal an example as you can find. I could almost swear he wasn't watching the same game as us, and his idea of play-by-play as screaming an attacker's name before waiting a good 10 seconds after the shot goes in or wide to announce what happened was laughable. He did have dry toast for a color man, but life goes on. Both fellas are better than they showed Wednesday.

-- I'm glad the Haiti game won't be a "be-all/end-all" event, because I'll be watching it several hours later after the Flash game and my buddy Brad's wedding.